Losing Virginity « Result #1 on Mar 12, 2009, 2:23am »
Concerned about her relationship, a woman approaches her doctor and says, "Doc, I'm getting married this weekend and my fiance thinks I'm a virgin & I'm not! Is there anything you can do to help me?"
The doctor says, "Medically, no, but here's something you can try. On the wedding night, when you're getting ready for bed, take an elastic band and slide it to your upper thigh. When your husband puts it in, snap the elastic band and tell him it's your virginity snapping."
The woman loves this idea and knows her hubby will fall for this. They have a beautiful wedding and retire to the honeymoon suite. The wife gets ready for bed in the bathroom, slips the elastic band up her leg, finishes preparing and climbs into bed with her man.
Things begin to progress - her hubby "slips it in" and just then she snaps the elastic band. The hubby asks, "What the heck was that?"
The wife explains, "Oh nothing honey, that was just my virginity snapping."
The husband cries out, "Well snap it again, it's got my balls!"
Violin Lessons « Result #2 on Mar 12, 2009, 2:20am »
"Daddy, can I learn to play the violin?" young Sarah asked her father. She was always asking for things and her father was not very pleased.
¡¡¡¡"You cost me a lot of money, Sarah," he said. "First you wanted to learn horse riding, then dancing, then swimming. Now it's the violin.
¡¡¡¡"I'll play every day ,Daddy." Sarah said. "I'll try very hard.
¡¡¡¡"All right," her father said. "This is what I'll do. I'll pay for you to have lessons for six weeks. At the end of six weeks you must play something for me. If you play well, you can have more lessons. If you play badly, I will stop the lessons."
¡¡¡¡"0. K. Daddy," Sarah said. "That is fair.
¡¡¡¡He soon found a good violin teacher and Sarah began her lessons. The teacher was very expensive, but her father kept his promise.
¡¡¡¡The six weeks passed quickly. The time came for Sarah to play for her father.
¡¡¡¡She went to the living room and said, "I'm ready to play for you, Daddy.
¡¡¡¡"Fine, Sarah," her father said. "Begin.
¡¡¡¡She began to play. She played very badly. She made a terrible noise.
¡¡¡¡Her father had one of his friends with him, and the friend put his hands over his ears.
¡¡¡¡When Sarah finished, her father said, "Well done, Sarah. You can have more lessons."
¡¡¡¡Sarah ran happily out of the room. Her father's friend turned to him. "You've spent a lot of money, but she still plays very badly. he said.
¡¡¡¡"Well, that's true," her father said. "But since she started learning the violin I've been able to buy five apartments in this build very cheaply. In another six weeks I'll own the whole building!"
These Things I Wish for You « Result #3 on Feb 24, 2009, 2:21am »
We tried so hard to make things better for our kids that we made them worse. For my grandchildren, I¡¯d know better.
I¡¯d really like for them to know about hand-me-down clothes and home-made ice cream and leftover meatloaf. I really would.
My cherished grandson,wow power leveling I hope you learn humility by surviving failure and that you learn to be honest even when no one is looking.
I hope you learn to make your bed and mow the lawn and wash the car -- and I hope nobody gives you a brand-new car when you are sixteen.
It will be good if at least one time you can see a baby calf born, and you have a good friend to be with you if you ever have to put your old dog to sleep.
I hope you get a black eye fighting for something you believe in.
I hope you have to share a bedroom with your younger brother.wow power leveling And it is all right to draw a line down the middle of the room, but when he wants to crawl under the covers with you because he¡¯s scared, I hope you¡¯ll let him.
And when you want to see a Disney movie and your kid brother wants to tag along, I hope you take him.
I hope you have to walk uphill with your friends and that you live in a town where you can do it safely.
If you want a slingshot,wow power leveling I hope your father teaches you how to make one instead of buying one. I hope you learn to dig in the dirt and read books, and when you learn to use computers, you also learn how to add and subtract in your head.
I hope you get razzed by friends when you have your first crush on a girl, and that when you talk back to your mother you learn what Ivory soap tastes like.
May you skin your knee climbing a mountain,wow gold burn your hand on the stove and stick your tongue on a frozen flagpole.
I hope you get sick when someone blows smoke in your face. I don¡¯t care if you try beer once, but I hope you won¡¯t like it.wow gold And if a friend offers you a joint or any drugs, I hope you are smart enough to realize that person is not your friend.
I sure hope you make time to sit on a porch with your grandpa or go fishing with your uncle.
I hope your mother punishes you when you throw a baseball through a neighbor¡¯s window,wow gold and that she hugs you and kisses you when you give her a plaster of paris mold of your hand.
These things I wish for you -- tough times and disappointment, hard work and happiness.
Re: Fan Fiction Challenges « Result #4 on Dec 18, 2008, 5:11pm »
Challenge: There is no such thing as good and evil or a line that separates the two. Illustrate a fanfic that shows characters that were previously thought of as evil (maybe Sinister) and good (ororo, for example) and how each can be redeemed or fail.
Settings: Can be an AU. Perhaps on a pirate ship (potc-oriented), an asylum, a prison, etc. Whatever you want.
Re: Finish My Fic « Result #5 on Dec 18, 2008, 5:02pm »
If anyone would like to elaborate on Imprisoned (which is not a romantic OreO pairing). It's on its fourth chapter I believe, and I would like to finish it. I could alternate chapters if that was possible. E-mail me if you'd like. kendrat199@tmail.com
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